Highschool Memories
by Emi Hayama
Summary: Growing up is hard, but when there's six of you..


People say high school is the time where you can live your youth to the fullest.  
Friends, parties, as long as you could get decent grades everything would always work out in the end.  
If only it was that easy.

We were just brats at the time, adolescents with zero plans for the future and not a single idea of what we were doing. We haven't really grown much since then if truth be told, but our personalities did change. The six of us were identical back in the old times, and yet we all went in our own directions. I stayed behind.

Osomatsu-niisan was one of the popular kids in school, he'd go partying all night, would never refuse a dare and was well-known by everyone. His grades were terrible but it's not as if that ever concerned him as long as he had fun. He'd come home in the early morning on a school day, often times drunk, and would sleep from morning to evening before going partying again. He'd also get into arguments with our parents whenever the subject of school was brought up. Eventually, they'd just let him off the hook with a warning but never carried any punishment.  
Choromatsu was the real pain in his side, the two yelling and snapping at each other like two alpha wolves claiming dominance whenever they had the chance to do so. At school, they'd avoid each other like the pest, each fearing that the other might tarnish their reputation. They both put a lot of effort into being as individual as possible to not get mistaken with their identical brothers, and they were the first to start wearing colored hoodies. Red and green. The rest of us followed afterwards.

It was then that niisan developed his gambling habit, he'd actually steal our money whenever he could, so all five of us actually started carrying our wallets around or hiding it to prevent this. There was a lot of yelling at home because of Osomatsu, mainly when he'd start fighting with Choromatsu and Karamatsu-niisan. We youngest would stay out of it, none of us able to stand against the elder three nor willing to.

Osomatsu scared us all a little if truth be told, yet we somehow knew we could still count on him if the worse was to happen.

The second eldest was well-liked at school; he wasn't as painful back then as he is now. He had even joined the drama club and would stay after school to train for the spectacles, it was a sight to behold. He always seemed so blissful on the scene, as if he had belonged there from the very beginning. His acting was one of the best, and his suave voice made him an extremely good singer for musicals; none of us ever missed his spectacles.  
One time, he got extremely sad because the lead role of the show had been handed to another student and he'd been given a background role as "Boy D". I then suggested for him to trick the other student by ruining his script somehow, and so he did. I was so glad to see his smile when he told me he got the lead role, I couldn't stand to see him cry any longer.

However, those who got on his bad side knew to not tease the beast nor the beast's brothers. Karamatsu-niisan is probably the second strongest out of all us after Jyushimatsu, and getting into a fight with him was something people only did in gangs. Even then, he'd come out as the winner all the time. The only times I saw him lose was when he'd stand against Osomatsu, who knows full well how to fight back against his brothers. We've lived together all our lives, so of course we know each other's techniques like our own and the eldest is particularly observant when it comes to that matter.  
But Karamatsu-niisan is a kind person at heart, and he only ever got into fights when the other started it or he had to to defend the rest of us. He'd also take responsibility for the damage we may have caused even if he had nothing to do with it all, getting the teacher's lectures in our stead and carrying out punishments on his own.

He was actually a better older brother than the eldest, we used to look up to him.

Choromatsu-niisan was super serious, much more than nowadays. He'd focus on studying day and night, he'd yell at the rule-breakers and if push came to shove he knew full well how to fight back. Rumors and insults were often thrown his way, yet he'd brush them off easily or would stop them directly at the source, and became feared even among bullies. Teachers would go as far as to compare other students to him, using him as an example for high schoolers everywhere. His pride would grow to no end, and he started acting the same way at home, yelling at us whenever things did not go according to plan or we did not do as we should have.

As one might expect, it started a lot of fights with Osomatsu-niisan who was everything but a rule sticker. Whenever he'd drink, come home late, get bad grades, we all knew that Choromatsu would take our parents' place to scold the eldest. Then the later would snap back, and it would end in full-on brawls between the first and third son that only Karamatsu could break up. If the later wasn't around, we would have to hide and wait until both of our brothers ran out of energy. No winner was ever declared in these fights and it would just end with Choromatsu getting hit in the pride, and Osomatsu going to drink yet again.

I can't remember how many times we had to comfort Choromatsu-niisan after a brawl, it was never a good experience.

First in the line of the youngest, Ichimatsu-niisan used to be such a nice and happy kid. He was always willing to help or assist others as soon as they needed it, which his classmates quickly understood and took advantage of. He'd do most of the chores and often for no reward, not even a "thank you", to the point where he started doing other's homework. He'd then stay up late at night, if not all night long, to finish all of the homework and would ultimately get yelled at for making mistakes or being found out by the teacher. As the failures and lack of sleep kept on pilling on, his own grades started falling low and he could no longer keep up with everything. He'd fall asleep in class out of sheer exhaustion, only to be scolded by the teacher, his classmates and Chromatsu-niisan at home, giving him no time to rest, no where to hide. I'd sometimes try to intervene and calm the third oldest when he seemed to go too far, but to no avail. Choromatsu had too much pride and high self-esteem, whereas Ichimatsu's was falling down in the dumps.

Depression eventually hit him step by step, he'd stop eating, he'd stop coming to chat with us at school on the rooftop, he'd sometimes stay at home in the futon all day and would straight-up panic at the idea of going to school again. I saw him cry in a corner more than once, heard his sobs from behind the bathroom door, but never knew what to say to him. Choromatsu-niisan eventually stopped yelling at him when he took note of the situation, and both Karamatsu and Jyushimatsu-niisan would attempt to cheer Ichimatsu up. Even I would try to get him out of the house on his bad days.

Honestly I think if no one did anything, the fourth son would be gone now.

Sadly, Ichimatsu wasn't the only one with problems. Jyushimatsu-niisan was picked on by a lot of people, called a weirdo and an annoying thing. He was more energic than his classmates and he'd do things that didn't make sense at times. But he had always been a little special, Jyushimatsu was Jyushimatsu after all. Even though he'd try his very best to make friends or please others, all he'd get were fake buddies who talked shit in his back and exploited him and bullies that would beat him to take everything he might carry with him. Given he couldn't carry his wallet around because of this, he left it at home where Osomatsu-niisan could steal it and became the eldest's main source of gambling and drinking funds.  
He wasn't as strong as he is today, he was in fact fairly weak for his age. He'd get sick more often than the rest of us and putting up with a gang of bullies was simply impossible in his eyes. Not only physically but also mentally. He could not bring himself to harm anyone, nor could he bring himself to tell us about it. He knew the eldest would hurt the bullies, he wanted to protect those kids and deal with the issue peacefully without anyone's help, which only caused it to get worse and worse overtime.

We all noticed the bruises on his skin when we'd go to the public bath yet he'd dismiss it, telling us he fell down the stairs or got hurt during P.E, niisan had an array of excuses that I began to know by heart after a while. Eventually, he was found out by Ichimatsu who'd stayed later than usual to clean his class as punishment for falling asleep during a lesson. He was clearly seen getting kicked and punched around, and our depressed brother tackled the issue as soon as they were home. All of us were extremely upset when we heard the story, even Osomatsu-niisan was taken by surprise. He'd been hanging with those bullies thinking they were friends, but they were hurting his younger brother all along, that was unforgivable.  
Each of us knew something was wrong, we just didn't expect a full gang of bullies to have been hurting him for months. Perhaps he really had gotten hurt or something, he had always been the clumsy one of the pack, but none of us could imagine ever picking on such an innocent kid.

The three eldest did not let that slip, I can say that much. I'm not even sure if the bullies are still alive nowadays to tell the tale.

And then there's me, the sixth Matsuno Sextuplet, Todomatsu. I never was anything special during our high school years, never got into fights, never drank, never came home or got abused or anything. I was already sneaky and did things with little care for other's feelings as long as me and my family were happy. They used to be my whole world, given that nobody knew my name at school. They'd mistake with Osomatsu-niisan everyday until we got our colored hoodies, after which they stopped talking to me at all unless they needed something or we got put into a work group.  
When Ichimatsu-niisan started sulking, I could only stick with Jyushimatsu-niisan to talk to on the rooftop. Sometimes, Karamatsu-niisan would join in but with his club activities it was a rare occasion, and then again, our rooftop times never lasted since Jyushimatsu always had to leave to "do things" after a bit (which we found out was getting beat up later on).

Home was an everyday battlefield between Osomatsu and Choromatsu-niisan. Ichimatsu never was as cheery or talkative as he used to be given the amount of work he always had to do and his depression taking a toll on him. Jyushimatsu-niisan would sometimes cry in the bathroom when he thought no one heard him, and Karamatsu-niisan was busy breaking up fights, doing homework or learning scripts. I didn't care much for homework, got average grades, dressed in a stylish yet common fashion, and was alone. I got a cellphone, thinking it might help me be more popular, but no one noticed. It was such a common thing to have a cellphone that nobody noticed it. Nobody ever noticed me.

On internet, I had seen people harming themselves to deal with anxiety, stress, problems, and I can tell you I was full of those things. My heart ached everyday from loneliness, and I was scared of going home all the time to walk in on a fight or even get dragged into it like it sometimes happened. So I started cutting, first the arms, then it went up to the wrists after a few days. I'd hide it under waterproof makeup to go to the bathhouse with my brothers. I'd pretend everything was fine. Everything WAS fine. I could stop anytime, it was merely a way to stop the pain from my fear and loneliness. I could stop. I could actually stop it all. I was on the rooftop nearly everyday, and staring at the ledge became a habit.

You'd think Ichimatsu would be the suicidal one, but internet gives bad idea to young minds and with no one to talk to or do, internet became my second home. the fourth son at least had the cats to care for, all I had was a cellphone.  
I had seen people do it. I had seen people off themselves on shock websites, read farewell notes online. It all seemed so easy to just stop the fighting at home, stop the loneliness, stop the constant reminder that everyone was simply too busy living to care for me.

Since I was no one, then becoming nothing was basically no change.

* * *

It was another regular, boring week-end day in our household. Osomatsu was broke and begging for money, Karamatsu had been reading a script for the fifth time to ensure he knew it perfectly, Choromatsu was studying, Ichimatsu was playing with a cat and Jyushimatsu was out somewhere doing whatever it was he did when he was out on week-ends.

Playing with my smartphone alone in our shared bedroom while the others were in the living room. I decided to spend the day lazing around in the futon away from them to give myself time to think, telling them all that I wished to be on my own that day. They usually know better than to mess with me when I'm not in the mood and I was everything but in a good mood.  
The dark thoughts kept creeping in the back of my head, giving me a headache that just wouldn't go away. Staring at a phone screen the whole afternoon certainly didn't help with it, but sleep simply wouldn't come to me, as if it was fleeing every time I'd rest my head on the white pillow.  
I then noticed the eldest of us six coming in without knocking, of course, before making his way towards me, his steps growing closer echoing in my head to worsen the pain. With an annoyed expression, I lifted my head from under the blanket to meet his grinning smug face.  
I knew what he was going to ask.

" Heeey Todomatsu ! My favorite younger brother ! " He'd say this every time he needed something. " Niisan is completely broke, don'tcha have something to give him so he can go play a little ? Mhh ? You always have money to buy outfits so surely you got some for your lovable big bro ! "

Ugh, such a pain he was.

" I'm not paying for you to get drunk or something niisan, go annoy someone else. "

" So cold Todo ! I always give you money when you need it and this is how you repay me ? "

" You never have money when I need some you moron. " I spat, not feeling like dealing with the selfish brat he'd grown to be. Was there even a time when he wasn't broke ? Maybe if he didn't spend everything on pachinko and beer he'd actually have money once in his life for more than five minutes.

" Aww come on don't give me that, I know you love your big brother. " He suddenly grabbed me into a forceful hold, probably checking my pockets for my wallet in the process. Of course I immediately started struggling and yelling at him to beat it and leave the fuck alone but niisan is way stronger than I am, even today. He finally found what he was looking for despite my complaints and gave me a victorious grin, holing the pink wallet in between two fingers.

" Thanks for your generosity, I love you~! "

Everything had been messed up from the struggle : my hair, my clothes. I looked like a mess and could just glare at him with all the hate in the world. He had even made me throw my phone in the process, if it got broken I would make sure he paid for it.

Suddenly, I took notice of his shocked expression when he stopped smiling. What ? Did I hurt his precious feelings for not wanting to give him money ? Whereas that would've been the best thing to ever happen, the truth was another thing altogether. Following his gaze, I realized the left sleeve of my pajama had been rolled up during the mock fight, now showing clearly the numerous cuts and scars on my wrist that I hadn't covered with makeup. I only did such a thing to go to the bathhouse, confident I could hide them with my sleeves at all times. Some were as fresh as that day, others had healed weeks ago, but it caught the eye of the red hoodied Matsu who just stared with clear disbelief in his eyes.

" Todomatsu... What happened ? " He sounded grave, so serious that I forgot he was the shitty brother of the lot for a few seconds.

" It's nothing. " I lied, unwilling to talk about it and quick to pull down my sleeve to hide the mess once more, but his look of betrayal told me I was simply not getting away scout-free from this. Never before had I been so ashamed and yet I kept on thinking that there was nothing to regret. I could stop. I just did it to make the pain go away. That's right, it was nothing wrong to do.

Glaring at my red hooded brother, I added spitefully :

" It's none of your concern anyways so don't act as if it suddenly was. Don't you have better things to do ? "

His eyes widened even more, I had clearly hit a sensible spot but could not care even the slightest at that moment. It was nothing more than the truth.  
He had been constantly busy being a general nuisance to everyone for his own amusement, then there was Ichimatsu's depression, Jyushimatsu's bullying problem, we also all knew Choromatsu's feelings got hurt whenever they fought, and Karamatsu was stressed by all of our problems more than we could possibly imagine plus he had his club work and homework and tests and everything.

What time could any of them possibly have to ever care for me ? I'm the youngest, the last one, since others had their own issues I shouldn't have bothered everyone with my own shit. If I couldn't deal with it it was my own problem, not theirs. I already had found a solution as a matter of fact, although I knew full well that they certainly would not have agreed to it. Which is why I did not tell them anything, I'm a man of many secrets, some darker than others, everyone who gets to know me knows that much.

But Osomatsu-niisan didn't go away. He pulled me into a forced hold once more. However, this time, it was a real hug. No malice was behind his action, only concern and pure worry.

And then I cried.

I started bawling, and bawling, until my eyes were red and heavy from the tears. The others probably heard me all the way from downstairs given that they came running up from the living room to see what caused the baby brother to start crying this much. When I had calmed down and was capable of speaking without risking to choke on my sobs, as you can expect, I was interrogated without having any chance to escape it.

By the time the night arrived they had all seen the cuts, they had all heard about my idea of ending everything and they all suddenly started noticing me. They started seeing through the lies and the smiles to find me, who had gotten lost. They pulled me back to them, to their embrace, and never before had I been so happy. So happy to have five brothers to care for, and who will care for me as well. We always pretend to hate one another but we all know how hard it is for one of us to be fully alone. It's like we share one single heart for all of us, if a piece is missing then everyone is incomplete and wounded.

Things got better step by step after this.

Osomatsu-niisan stopped ditching school so much and although he lost some of his popularity, his grades went up just a little bit, enough for him to not get expelled and even graduate with Choromatsu's help. Niisan still had absolutely no plans for his future but it never seemed to bother him.  
He never really grew up anyways, becoming the shitty proud NEET we have for eldest nowadays.

They started studying together and fighting less at home, the third son slowly getting more lenient and soft on everyone. We'd get less scolded or yelled at, the atmosphere suddenly turning into a much more relaxed state that everyone could enjoy.

He also took a liking into idols which would take his mind off of studying all the time, and slowly turned into the virgin otaku we know today.

Karamatsu-niisan could finally have time for himself instead of looking after the two other eldest to prevent them from killing each other. He could once again spend time with his younger brothers, which was a great change for all of us. We all missed being a family like this.

He soon discovered Yutaka Ozaki and fell in love with him, well not in a romantic way but you get the point. Then he started dressing so weirdly and wearing sunglasses all the time, throwing cheesy lines in poor English whenever he could. It's so painfully embarrassing seriously, we all started ignoring him at that point because of how embarrassing he became and Ichimatsu straight up started hating him, or pretending to anyways. But when things go awry each of us know we can count on Karamatsu. Besides, who doesn't want to try on a leather jacket once in their life ?

Ichimatsu-niisan started going back to school as well and even though he still treated himself like garbage, he no longer felt like being his classmates' lapdog, promptly telling them to fuck off as soon as they took notice of him. When they attempted to bully him out of spite, he unexpectedly fought back to make them pay for his suffering. I think some ended in the hospital for this, or maybe they're dead.  
Given he never had many friends to begin with he became closer with cats than before, feeding the strays of the whole town before coming home late in the evening everyday.

At least he seemed less depressed than before when he was with the furry creatures, so we never said anything about it.

Jyushimatsu's bullying was solved when Osomatsu and Karamatsu-niisan taught him how to fight. With both of them having more time than before, they showed the fifth Matsu how to be strong and not let others walk all over himself. They'd train by doing mock fighting, and then go drink together at a bar to celebrate Jyushi's progress. After a while he was able to stand up against the bullies and _"accidentally broke them while playing"_. We never heard of that gang afterward; I'm pretty sure they got scared of the Matsuno family for a good while with their broken arms and legs.

Jyushimatsu then free of pain and mockery released his full Jyushimatsu essence and suddenly turned into the unpredictable yellow energetic ball of weirdness we now know over one night. Literally. One day he was calm, the next he was Jyushimatsu as he would forever be. Since we still don't understand how it works, none of us like talking about it.

As for myself, I was overwhelmed with the sudden attention from my brothers. They'd spend their free time with me to chat and go out, they would not let me go anywhere near the rooftop alone anymore and they'd check the scars on my arms everyday to make sure I did not keep harming myself. They also threw away the make-up I used so I could no longer hide it from them; it took a long while for me to fully convince them I had stopped cutting and only used the make-up for my face now.  
Osomatsu-niisan even slipped some good words towards me to his close friends at school, which got me a new attention from my classmates. I started hanging out with other people after school, we'd go shopping for clothes or play pachinko for fun. I got their phone numbers, texts from them, I joined social medias, we'd plan hang outs and even sleep-overs with the girls.

With time I grew further and further away from my brothers, focusing on the social life I so longed for all this time.

But I still know to this day that I can't live without them. That they care for me as much as I care for them. That we're a family.

Growing up is hard, but when there's six of you there are six people you can always count on no matter what.


End file.
